Happy November.

November is Epilepsy Awareness Month.

I’ve shared my story on occasion. 

If you’re reading this for the first time, I was first diagnosed when I was 13, just starting high school. Which, ultimately made was hard. Learning was tough and keeping up with the curriculum was unbearable mostly because my body was itself changing(cuz hormones), and adapting to medication. My self esteem was very low when I was younger. I blamed myself for something I had no control over. 

Let me tell you reason why I fell off with my blog over the Summer...

For those who weren’t in my inner circle or greatly aware, the Summer of 2018 has been the worst, mentally. When I was first diagnosed I started on Keppra, then my prescription slowly increased and eventually had Zonegram added on. I also have diamox and lorazepam in case of emergency. As the years have added, ten to be exact, the medication in my system had finally built up and felt like a wall had broken. My emotions were all over the place (like my mood swings are ridiculous), anxiety had flared to a state that going outside felt incredibly dangerous, insomnia began, feeling nonstop irritable, and this is just the beginning the longer it went on the more intense the side effects got to me. 

I would say I got into a depressive state. I’m indecisive but feeling so unhappy and uncomfortable with yourself is unhealthy. Panic attacks became regular. A skin rash made me lose all the confidence I have. Now I don’t want to sound crazy, but I also started to hallucinate, full blown seeing figures in the dark, another reason why my insomnia was so bad. I remember I went a whole week going to bed till 3 am and having to have lights on. But above all and how insane everything got, I think losing my memory is the worst. I forgot simple tasks, how to use the washing machine, to turn on the computer or use the tv (it was embarrassing at work). 

I joke all the time how I’ll be the cute old lady from The Notebook, wanting my stories retold to me. Having my memory start to fade as I’m 24 really triggered me and with everything going on, let’s just say I didn’t take it easy. For anyone wondering my doctor and I are in constant communication. I also started journaling to help with my memory. I've been prescribed Trazodone, to help with my insomnia. I am still on the same cocktail of Keppra & Zonegram mostly because  it's helped my body for a year now, and starting a new mix ain't never fun. I am one year seizure free, (bless the universe!) Will I start driving? Honestly, I’ve had a bad experience over the years, it may take awhile for me to get over my fear. I am excited to see where this goes now, for awhile I felt unheard and in the darkness and now I have answers. It's all just a day at a time.

Epilepsy Facts

Epilepsy : a disorder characterized by having recurring seizures

• 1 in 26 will develop Epilepsy 
• 1 in 10 will experience a seizure 
• 1/3 of people with Epilepsy will suffer Depression/Anxiety
• People with Epilepsy are at a higher risk to drown
• Physically impossible to swallow tongue 

*** Please Call 911 / Medical assistance ***

Please note, everything written has been my journey thus far. I am in constant communication with my doctor, and she is fully aware with ALL the side effects happening to me. Simply writing to get my story out and see if anything like this has happened to anyone else. You are more than welcome to comment or message me about questions.
thank you.

💜